PREPARING FOR CHRISTMAS (WITHOUT DAD)

Five Ways to Find Joy at Christmas While Grieving Loss

Christmas is a time for shopping and decorating and singing songs of joy. The first Christmas set the bar high — a choir of angels in the night sky, singing –“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests” (Lk. 2:14). But a “Merry Christmas” is not always easy to achieve. Especially, when you are suddenly missing a piece of your heart.

Grieving at Christmas

 

Christmas without Dad

Christmas was always special growing up. My Dad didn’t make tons of money. He worked hard and took good care of us. We lived in a small wood-frame house on cinder blocks. My parents were saving to build a bigger house — brick, two stories, with a concrete foundation. So day-to-day life was pretty frugal. But, Dad made sure we went all out for Christmas. Plenty of toys wrapped under the Christmas tree. Big, yellow, Tonka trucks for me (before plastic, when they were made out of steel), and for my sister — dolls that cried and closed their eyes to sleep. Dad always figured out a way to give us the best.

Some people have done more for you than you could ever repay. Some people are irreplaceable. Mom and Dad fall into that category for me.

My Dad died this February after a battle with cancer. This will be our first Christmas without him. It’s feeling like it will be a little less like Christmas without him. So, how do you find your Christmas spirit when you can no longer share it with someone you loved so much?

 

winnie the pooh quote

 

Jesus gives us five ways to find joy, even in the sorrow.

 

Cry. It’s Good for You.

When Jesus stood at the grave of one of his best friends, he cried (Jn. 11:35). He seemed to know what God was going to do — he knew that his friend Lazarus wouldn’t stay dead. And yet, he cried. Why? The honest answer is, I don’t know. If I had to guess I would say he cried because he felt like it — because, whatever he was feeling, crying made him feel better. Try it. Unashamedly. Have a good cry.

…you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.”

― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

 

Laugh. Every Chance You Get.

Paul, trying to describe what it looks like to live for Jesus, said, “Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy …” (Rom. 12:15). Tell funny stories about the person you are missing. Remember the laughter you shared with her. Have a good, hearty, guiltless laughing session about all the great and goofy and funny things you experienced with him.

Think about it — after you’re gone, what do you want people to remember about you? The things that make them cry? Or the things that make them laugh?

 

Do Something for Someone Who has a Need.

Jesus said of himself, “the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matt. 20:28). Doing for others always chips away at your own pain. You’ll find that pain is relative, and no matter how hard you have it, there is always someone who has it harder. This brings perspective and a sharper focus. It takes you outside of yourself, and therefore, outside of your personal pain.

 

Go to Church.

Okay, I might be a little biased on this one. But, a church setting will often make you feel closer to God, and will certainly help you focus on the meaning of Christmas: God’s love for you.

When Jesus was twelve he was officially entering manhood. His parents lost track of him and finally found him in the temple. He told them, where did you think I would be? “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” (Lk. 2:49). Jesus was trying to understand what it meant to be an adult and the one thing he knew for sure is that he wanted to feel close to God. 

If you don’t feel like being around people, don’t go on a Sunday. A lot of churches leave their sanctuary open for those who simply want to come in and pray or meditate. Find a beautiful chapel near you to contemplate the goodness of God. Go to a Christmas musical program. Joy is contagious.

 

Place your Hope in Jesus.

Watch this 2-minute sermon clip. Pastor Ivy Lassiter, preaching on the Old Testament story of Hannah, explains why placing all hope in God is worth it. (You can listen to the entire sermon HERE).

 

 

Christmas is a beautiful time of year — a time to make lasting memories with family and friends. I pray that you will be able to move past your pain and not let the joy of Christmas slip past you. Place your hope in God and turn your eyes to Jesus — you are loved!!