Hagar is not an obvious choice, but I thought one of the Matriarchs should be included in my Mother’s Day Countdown, and I’ve always had a heart for the outsider. What can Hagar teach us about the struggles of the single mom?
The Family Saga of Hagar
[This story is taken from Genesis 16; 21:1-21]
Abraham was married to Sarah. Sarah was unable to have children and so she arranged for her husband to have a child through one of her Egyptian slaves – a younger woman named, Hagar. Hagar gave birth to a son (for Abraham and Sarah), and they named him Ishmael.
But then God miraculously gave Sarah her own son, Isaac, and suddenly Hagar and her son, Ishmael, were a threat to Sarah. Ishmael was the legal heir to the first-born rights of inheritance. As such, he was entitled to the first-born blessing and double-portion inheritance from Abraham’s vast wealth; but, Sarah wanted it all for her son, Isaac.
Hagar and Ishmael became collateral damage in the political fight over Abraham’s immense wealth and power. As a slave, Hagar had no advocate. Cast out of the clan, she found herself fighting, not for her son’s inheritance, but for his life.
Hagar’s Fight for Life
With the few meager resources given to her by Abraham – a fraction of what she and her son legally deserved – she made her trek across the barren wilderness – alone, but determined to get to her own Promised Land. She was determined to do it without the resources she rightfully deserved because Ishmael was her son – nothing could ever change that.
Hagar is an inspiration to every Mom who finds herself suddenly rejected and alone with a child to care for – a child to raise alone against the odds. All Hagar wanted was the best for her son. She tried to make the journey back to Egypt, her homeland, so that she could find a life for Ishmael.
Along the way, in the middle of a desert region that is dangerous to cross even when you have the right resources, she came to a place called “overwhelmed.” Ever been there?
She was completely out of everything she needed to survive – food, water, shelter. She realized that she wasn’t going to make it. She had tried her best – but the forces against her were too great.
She placed her dehydrated son under the only shrub she could find. Like the single mom who goes without dinner to give her child something to eat, she gave Ishmael the one last thing she had – shade from the searing sun.
She felt like she had failed him. She went a little distance away because she could not bear to watch him die. She knew she would soon follow. She knew that she and her son would soon be just another statistic.
She could hear Ishmael crying softly, like a puppy whimpering. There is no agony deeper than listening to your child cry in pain, helpless to do anything about it.
Hagar – for the first time in the story – began to sob uncontrollably.
And then – finally – God heard their cries.
What We Learn from Hagar
1. Single Moms are in a herculean battle.
Just about everything in our system works against a single mom. We’re not set up for it, and the world can be an unforgiving place.
2. Single Moms are heroic in their efforts.
I always struggled when my wife had to go out of town and I was left alone for the weekend with my three kids. And that was just for one weekend! And I had plenty of resources! I can’t imagine what it would be like if that were my entire life. Wow! Total respect for those who do it. You have a special place in heaven.
3. Single Moms are not alone – God sees you.
In a previous scene, Hagar had experienced God and had named him, El-Roi, the God who sees. In this scene, he is not only the God who sees, but also the God who hears.
God sees you and hears you. And God sends his immense and endless resources to you just when you need them.
He does it through friends and family and the Christian community.
James said that true religion is this: “to look after orphans and widows in their distress” (James 1:27).
If the single mom doesn’t find some kind of help from the Church, then nothing else we say or do matters much. God help us if we fail on this one.
4. Single Moms are given a great promise from God.
It’s interesting that God gave Hagar the same promise he had given to Abraham. He promised her that her sacrifice and faith would not go unrewarded. He promised her that everything that had been taken away from her would be returned — every injustice would be made right — every indignity would be restored. He promised her that her son would also become a great nation.
SINGLE MOM – you are Artemis (daughter of Zeus), Athena, Joan of Arc, and Wonder Woman – you are Deborah and Ruth and Hagar. You are the warrior princess who fights for your children. I salute you and stand in awe of you. Thank you for what you do.
A Modern Day Hagar
Tina Vasquez grew up just outside of New York City in the 1980s. Her mother, Sonia, raised her with little help, and money was often tight for their family. Sonia took on several jobs to pay the bills and sometimes was too exhausted to be there for her daughter.
At Story Corps, mother and daughter talk about that experience and what they mean to each other. [listening time = 2-minutes]
DAY 2 –> JOCHEBED: COURAGEOUS LOVE
