Pain and suffering are a part of life. There are no quick fixes. There is no magic balm to make the pain go away. I’m not going to insult or belittle your pain by pretending that I can take it away in a lousy 1000-word blog article. But Jesus did make two promises about pain and suffering. He offers us some things to consider when dealing with overwhelming grief.
When It Never Goes Away
My Bible open to Psalm 23, I stood at the foot of the grave watching the two young people, 22 and 21. They had been married less than two years and they stood with me over the grave of their first child. A boy. He lived for only two hours. I could see the pain in their faces.
They would cling to each other until the sharp, unbearable pain turned into a blunt bearable pain. They would have other children, but there would always be this hole in their hearts, an empty space that would never completely go away.
TWO Things Jesus Said About Our Suffering
Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy” (John 16:22).
The night before his crucifixion Jesus gathered with his closest disciples and he warned them that suffering was coming. Suffering was a common part of first-century Mediterranean life. In fact, in some ways, the Hebrew people had been defined by it for more than 400 years. His disciples were no strangers to suffering. But, Jesus needed to remind them that, although suffering was a part of life, it would not define them.
Jesus made two promises:
1. Your sorrow will turn to joy.
“Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy” (John 16:20).
Life is full of sorrow. But, we are assured that sorrow is not the end of the story.
Jesus compared the grief process to what a woman experiences in giving birth to a child (John 16:21). There is intense pain – no fun at all. But after hours and hours of almost unbearable pain and suffering, there is the moment of overwhelming JOY.
WHY? Two reasons:
-
The intense pain is over.
-
You are left with a gift – a little bundle of joy that is unlike anything you have ever experienced.
Jesus was saying that the labor pains are not the end of the story. Your pain – no matter how brutal or persistent – is not the end of your story.
Biblical Examples
Job – in the midst of his pain, his wealth and property destroyed, his children violently killed, his body covered with diseased sores, and wracked with pain, lifted his eyes toward the heavens and cried out …“I know that my redeemer lives …” (Job 19:25). Job was saying, I know that this is not the way it ends.
Moses – his back up against the raging Red Sea, the most powerful army on the face of the earth bearing down on him, and his own people ready to lynch him for leading them into certain death – rose to his feet, stretched his staff over the raging sea and told the people: Stand back and watch the delivering power of the God of the universe. In other words, Pharoah’s powerful army is not the end of our story.
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego – standing before the fiery furnace, cried out with one voice – “Our God, if he so chooses, is able to save us, Oh King! … but even if he doesn’t … we will never bow down to you!” Another way of saying, You may be the most powerful person in Babylon, but you don’t get to write the end to our story.
Paul – lying in a Roman prison, his character questioned by certain Jerusalem Christians, and facing almost certain death at the hands of the most powerful man on the face of the earth – wrote:
I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Phil. 1:20-21).
In other words, Nero can kill me, but he will never define me.
Whatever hard, difficult, painful moments you experience in this life – always remember – They do NOT define YOUR story. The pain and suffering that is a part of this life is not the end of your story.
2. You will eventually understand.
In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name” (John 16:23).
Evil and suffering seem impossible to comprehend. There is an entire branch of theology devoted to studying this one conundrum – if God is good, where did evil come from? 1 Most answers seem paltry in the face of horrific suffering (especially when innocent children suffer).
Jesus wanted his disciples to know that things look very different depending on your view. For instance, on the other side of the resurrection, everything looks different. Between Good Friday and Easter Sunday, everything changes.
For now, all we can do is cling to each other, fight for justice, and trust that Jesus is right – the pain will not define us and one day “He will wipe every tear … There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain …” (Rev. 21:4).
The Ministry of Presence
In chaplaincy training, they talk about the “ministry of presence.” This is the idea that when people are going through intense grief they will probably not remember much of what you say to them, but they will never forget that you were there. Your very presence is a ministry to them. And a hug is more powerful than words.
That’s exactly what Jesus said would make the difference. He told them (John 16:16-22), “In a little while you will not see me (and you will be full of sorrow) … and then a little while after that you will see me again (and you will be filled with joy).”
In the book of Ecclesiastes Solomon wrote about the apparent meaninglessness of everything in life. He waxed eloquent about the vanity of life, the vanity of wealth, the vanity of human wisdom, the absurdity of everything. And then at the end of his writing, he made two very important observations:
1. Wisdom values life’s difficulties.
The wise person stands in the difficult moments and takes a step back and says, there’s something that God wants to do with my pain. There is something good that God wants to bring out of my suffering. There is something powerful that God wants to teach me.
2. Wisdom rests in God’s Sovereignty.
There is a God in heaven who is in control of every single breath I take. And I will rest in Him.
There are no quick fixes. There is no magic balm to make the pain go away. If you are suffering today I’m not going to insult or belittle your pain by pretending to take it away in the few minutes it takes you to read this blog article – As if your life were a sitcom where God will make everything alright in 25 minutes, excluding commercials.
But I offer you this as a start (and only a start) –
-
Your pain is not the end of your story.
-
There is a gift God wants to give you through your pain.
-
The God who loves you wants to hold you through the pain.
