There has been a notable rise in anxiety in our society. Parents are increasingly worried about the world their children are facing. They are struggling to find the coping mechanisms for their children. There is a growing hopelessness stirring in the hearts of American Parents. What does God say about the way we raise our children in the 21st century?
The American Family
Parents were never meant to raise their children alone. Let that sink in. Let it wash over you and lift whatever burden you are bearing today over your role as a parent.
If you are tired, frustrated, and ashamed in the job you are doing as a parent, I have two words for you – (1) You are not the only one who feels that way; and, (2) it’s not your fault. You are doing it alone, and you were never meant to do it alone.
When the American landscape moved from an agricultural to an industrial society, we lost something in the transition. Families moved from the farm to the city, away from extended family members. Parents who once had the help of aunts, uncles, and grandparents to raise their children, now found themselves isolated and alone in the parenting task.
In small-town America, everyone felt some responsibility for the children of the town. In big city America, it’s every man for himself – and with the extended family living thousands of miles away, every Mom and Dad is carrying the weight alone.
Now that we have moved from the Industrial Age to the Digital age I’m concerned that we are losing something else in the transition. If the Industrial revolution isolated the nuclear family form their extended family, I’m afraid that the Technological Age is isolating the nuclear family from itself – parents and children living in the same house, but in separate worlds, thousands of miles apart.
If the Industrial Age left the Parents alone to raise their children, the Technological Age seems to be leaving the children alone to raise themselves (or to be raised by whatever messages stream through their favorite devices).
The Biblical Mandate
These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life” (Deut. 6:1-2).
This is a famous passage often addressed to parents. However, it was originally addressed to the entire Hebrew community — mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles, as well as community leaders. These words were a mandate for everyone to take responsibility for the building up of the next generation.
Parents were never meant to do it alone.
What is the roadmap for parenting “in community” in the 21st Century? The writer of Deuteronomy gives us some clues.
1. Trust God’s Word.
For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Heb. 4:12).
You have to build your life on something. Trust God’s Word. The “Laws” were God’s words to the people in order to help them live healthy lives. They were there, not to restrict them, but to free them up to a good and healthy life.
God was setting up a lonely monotheism in the midst of raging polytheism. There is such an ever-present temptation to look to other gods. This unhealthy attachment to the gods of this world brings spiritual and moral death.
God had commanded them to obey certain laws in order that they would build a different kind of community. A community that uplifts and encourages. A community that never leaves us alone.
2. You are not alone.
Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you. Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deut. 6:3-7).
He mentions your ancestors – those who came before us and paved the way.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us …” (Heb. 12:1-2).
There is no such thing as a “self-made man.” We are all a product of those who came before us and paved the way. We are all beneficiaries of those who made sure we had everything we needed to succeed.
We owe a debt to those who came before us. We can also benefit from their wisdom. Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles can all play a vital role in parenting children!
He mentions your children – those who come behind us and are watching.
Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’” (Matt. 19:14).
Whatever heights our generation reaches in education, technology, government or spiritual growth, our ceiling must only be the floor for the next generation … or it is all for naught. There is no lasting accomplishment you will find in this world greater than helping the next generation be better than you.
They are watching you and will learn from you. Teach them that they don’t have to do it alone.
He mentions the Lord – the One who never leaves us or forsakes us.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8:38-39).
Jesus built a community that would be family. These communities are in every town and city in America. Jesus called this community his Body – His Church.
God wants to be there for you through the caring hands, feet, and listening ears of the Church. Any Church that is doing the work of Jesus will make sure that you don’t have to do it alone.
Through all of our struggles – our best efforts and our worse failures – God is right there with us. He has promised to never leave us. He has promised to bless and reward our genuine efforts. Never lose heart and never give up!
You are never completely alone!
