Facebook envy is real. The comparison game is almost an Olympic sport. And the residual effects can be devastating – envy, anger, strife, resentment, bitterness, and depression, just to name a few. How did Jesus handle the comparison game? Here are nine Jesus principles to help you overcome the comparison game.
Adult Tic-Tac-Toe
My granddaughter is four years old and likes to play tic-tac-toe. I hate tic-tac-toe. I let her win. But, the game has no appeal whatsoever. We typically leave tic-tac-toe behind about the time we enter elementary school. Why? Because when two intelligent adults are playing, no one ever wins – it’s a big waste of time.
Jesus taught us that the comparison game is like two adults playing tic-tac-toe. No one ever wins, and it’s a big waste of time.
Jesus was constantly being compared to the other religious leaders and criticized for not conforming. How did Jesus handle the comparison game?
Jesus Principles to Beat the Comparison Game
1. Embrace Your Authentic Self
Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others” (Gal. 6:4).
Self-help guru, Mel Robbins, reminds us that scientists calculate the probability of your existing as you, today, at about one in 400 trillion (4×1014). That makes you, just as you are, an amazing miracle.
The Psalmist said it this way – “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made …” (Psalm 139:14).
The Apostle Paul said, “In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Rom. 8:37).
You are a child of God, and he loved you so much that he sent his son, Jesus, to die just for you. Embrace the truth about yourself – you are God’s beautiful child.
400 trillion to one! You are incomparable!
2. Focus on the Journey
“But, small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” — Jesus in Matt. 7:14
When you are focused on the journey Jesus has for you, you don’t have time to worry about the various roads others are taking. Your primary work is to follow the road Jesus has for you.
People who are followers are always tempted to take the easy, wide road. If too many people are on the road that should be a clue that it’s the wrong road. Take your own road … and own it.
3. Practice Gratitude
If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.” – Meister Eckhart
Jesus was always giving thanks for what he had (Matt. 8:4; 15:36; Mark 8:6).
When a little boy gave him two fish and five small loaves of bread, and Jesus had 5,000 people to feed — Did Jesus complain? Did he compare the measly offering to the crowd before him? No. He gave thanks for what he had (John 6:11) and then counted on God to multiply it for the need!
The Apostle Paul put it this way – “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Phil. 4:6, emphasis mine).
Thanksgiving and gratitude are life’s ointments that heal bitterness, resentment, and jealousy. They are antibiotics for the comparison disease.
4. Love Others the Way You Want to Be Loved
Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” — Jesus in Matt. 22:37-40
This radical love ethic is at the core of everything Jesus taught. Jesus also said, “in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matt. 7:12).
What kind of world would it be if we practiced this one commandment from Jesus? Certainly, there would be a lot less judging and comparing.
5. Repeat Regularly: Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness
Too many people spend money they earned … to buy things they don’t want … to impress people that they don’t like.” — Will Rogers
Jesus talked a lot about money because he understood what it represented – your life energy. Because of that, money has a way of consuming us. So, there’s nothing wrong with money. As long as it is kept in proper perspective.
Jesus said —“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal” (Matt. 6:19).
The Bible repeatedly warns us against coveting our neighbor’s property – not just because of the damage it does to our neighbor – but, mostly because of the damage it does to us.
6. Concentrate on Your Priorities
As a child, I cried because I had no toy until I met a child who had no bread.” — Amit Kalantri
Jesus said, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matt. 6:13).
Get your priorities straight. Focus on them. And everything else will take care of itself.
What do you want out of life? Don’t chase the things your friends are chasing. You get only one life. Use it to chase the things you were born to chase. Be an original. Discover the “why” of your life and focus on that, leaving your friends to chase the things they were born to chase.
7. Understand What You Don’t Know
Why compare yourself to others? You never know what people have endured to get where they are.” — Lailah Gifty Akita
Jesus had the ability to look into the eyes and hearts of people and see what was really there (Mark 2:8). Most of us can’t do that.
Facebook is not real life. People promote only the best, photo-shopped parts of their lives. When you see all the smiles and vacations and new buys – what you don’t see is the pain and the struggles and the addictions that are sometimes behind it all.
Whenever you see someone who appears to have a better life than you – be happy for them – but, also understand that you are not seeing the whole picture.
8. Don’t Judge Others
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” — Jesus in Matt. 7:1-2
My mom always told me that when I pointed a finger at someone I had three fingers pointing back at me. Try it. It’s true.
Developing a critical spirit about others will eventually lead to a self-critical spirit and cause a great amount of grief when you are not living up to your own impossible standards. Be gracious to others – and you will find grace for your own life.
9. Find Inspiration without Comparison
One day the disciples asked Jesus to stop some men who were not a part of their group but were preaching in the name of Jesus. Jesus told them that he would do no such thing (Mark 9:38).
Jesus was regularly being compared to John the Baptist (Mark 2:18). When asked about this he said, “I tell you, among those born of women there is no one greater than John …” (Luke 7:28).
Jesus wasn’t jealous of others who were doing similar work. In fact, he lifted them up.
I have a few friends in ministry who are extremely successful (pretty much any way you want to measure it). They are smart, devoted, hard-working, and have made a tremendous impact for good.
I can be jealous or inspired. I choose to be inspired. And, I thank them regularly for being such great role-models.
I don’t have to compare myself to them. I’m different. My impact will be different.
A healthy dose of humility helps. If I am the unparalleled, premier example of what I do – If I am the best, with no equal – the Kingdom of God is in big trouble!
Obviously, I’m not. And the Kingdom of God would do just fine without me.
There will always be someone better at whatever you do — but, there will never be anyone who does it exactly the way you do.
Tell yourself that regularly, and relax. Be inspired by your friends without the need to compare.
At the end of the day, playing the comparison game is like playing tic-tac-toe – no one ever wins and it’s a big waste of time.
